Right, who do I go to for information round here?

Ah, you'll be wanting Mark.


Yes, Mark. He's the one standing behind you.

Oh. Er, hello.


I... I have no idea what this is or how I got here. Tell me about goaste.cx

Dichloro-diphenyl-trichloroethane (DDT) was first synthesized, for no purpose, in 1874 by German chemist Othmar Zeidler.

So, he made it for no reason at all?

M�ller found that DDT quickly killed flies, aphids, mosquitoes, walking sticks and Colorado potato beetles.

So it gets rid of pests?

M�ller won the Nobel Prize in 1948 for his work on DDT.

I get the feeling that you're straying from the subject. I just want to know where I am.

"To only a few chemicals does man owe as great a debt as to DDT... In little more than two decades, DDT has prevented 500 million human deaths, due to malaria, that otherwise would have been inevitable."

Oh, piss off Mark. Is anyone here any help? Hey, you!


Yes, you. What is this place? Why am I here?

It's a website. You probably got here by accident. Looking for something else, no doubt.

What are you implying?

Nothing, nothing.

Good. So, what's this place all about then? Who are you? Why are you here?

That's a lot of questions. I'm all confused now.

Oh, sorry.

That's alright. Just one question at a time, though. I'm only young.

But you've got a full grown beard?

I'm in disguise.

Oh. Anyway, what's this place all about then?

It's a conduit.

A what?

A conduit. A kind of pipe. Full of henformation.



What the hell is henformation?

I'm afraid that's beyond the scope of a simple faq.

I'll faq you!

Very good. Do you have any more questions, or are you just going to threaten me?

Well, who are you? I asked that a while ago. You never answered.

I got confused, remember? Anyway, I'm in disguise, so I can't tell you who I am. That'd defeat the purpose of the disguise. The other people here, though, I can tell you about them. If you dare!

That doesn't make any sense.

No, you're right. Sorry. Anyway, its made by some people. You almost definitely haven't heard of them. If you want to learn more about them, go and look at the credits page.

I'm not going anywhere.

It gets cold here after dark, you know. And there's some fearsome crows about.

Crows? Well, maybe I won't stay here too long then. Just a few more questions.

I like questions!

Good for you! So, when does this place update? How do I know? How? How?

We should update once a week, or so. You can always check back here, you know. Updates are mentioned on the front page. If you're too lazy for all that, though, you could always sign up to our email newsletter. We'll tell you everything you'd ever want to know.

That sounds great. How do I join?

Look here - here.

So, I've joined your newsletter, now how do I get in touch with you?

We've only just met.

Er, yes. I meant, if, well, if I was seriously, deeply offended by this site, and wanted to register a complaint, what should I do?

Join the BNP. If you want to be nice to us, though, you can write to us here - .

How...how do you pronounce 'Goaste'?

Like this: 'Goaste'. Hahhahaha! OK: it is pronounced the same as 'Ghost'


Thank you.



See you again, maybe.

You won't recognise me. I'll be in disguise.