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Hitler! - a sitcom
| Girl: Father, can I play in the garden? Hitler: No Hitler strikes his daughter across the face |
| Hitler: Come, my daughter, and listen to your father sing Girl: No Hitler strikes his daughter across the face. In close up we see a single tear roll down Hitler's cheek |
| Girl: I love you, father Hitler: SCRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAE Hitler strikes his daughter across the face |
| There is a knock at the door. Hitler answers it, and Jude Law enters the house Girl: Hey look its Jude Law! Jude Law strikes the girl across the face. Then him and Hitler kiss |
| Girl: What is your favourite animal, Lord Hitler? Hitler: The Panzer bear!! ++LAUGHTER++ |
| The girl is in the living room, watching Hollyoaks. Girl: I love Hollyoaks Suddenly the window explodes inwards as Hitler hurls himself through it. In slow motion we see him strike the girl across the face as he passes in midair |
| Hitler is naked, beautiful. Long lingering slow motion zoom into close up on Hitler's face, in soft focus |
| Mrs Hitler enters the living room Girl: Mother, you came back! Hitler performs a complex pirouhette, striking both his daughter and wife across the face at the same time |
| Mrs Hitler laughs while talking on the phone. Hitler turns away in disgust |
| The girl comes into the living room. She is crying. Suddenly, the living room is plunged into darkness. We hear the noise of the girl being struck across the face. The lights come back on, and the girl is still crying, and her tears mingle with the blood that is now dripping from the side of her mouth Girl (whimpers): ...father.... |
| Hitler is watching The Apprentice Hitler: I like Alan Sugar Girl: But he is from Essex Hitler strikes his daughter across the face Hitler: DON'T (strike) YOU (strike) EVER (strike) SAY (strike) THAT (strike) AGAIN (strike) |
| Girl: I love Christmas. I wonder what santa left me The girl enters the living room. Hitler is naked on the floor, dead Girl: This is the best christmas ever Mrs Hitler strikes her daughter across the face |
| The girl stands alone in the cellar. Hitler is nowhere to be seen, but her eyes still dart from side to side, and she occasionally spins around to look behind her. Her arm begins to slowly rise. She tries to hold it down with the other arm, but it is impossible. The rising arm breaks free and she strikes herself hard acros the face. As she sinks to the floor, red faced and weeping, Hitler's laugh fills the room. |
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