Hitler! - a sitcom

Girl: Father, can I play in the garden?
Hitler: No

Hitler strikes his daughter across the face

Hitler: Come, my daughter, and listen to your father sing
Girl: No

Hitler strikes his daughter across the face. In close up we see a single tear roll down Hitler's cheek

Girl: I love you, father

Hitler strikes his daughter across the face

There is a knock at the door. Hitler answers it, and Jude Law enters the house

Girl: Hey look its Jude Law!

Jude Law strikes the girl across the face. Then him and Hitler kiss

Girl: What is your favourite animal, Lord Hitler?
Hitler: The Panzer bear!!


The girl is in the living room, watching Hollyoaks.

Girl: I love Hollyoaks

Suddenly the window explodes inwards as Hitler hurls himself through it. In slow motion we see him strike the girl across the face as he passes in midair

Hitler is naked, beautiful. Long lingering slow motion zoom into close up on Hitler's face, in soft focus

Mrs Hitler enters the living room

Girl: Mother, you came back!

Hitler performs a complex pirouhette, striking both his daughter and wife across the face at the same time

Mrs Hitler laughs while talking on the phone.

Hitler turns away in disgust

The girl comes into the living room. She is crying.

Suddenly, the living room is plunged into darkness. We hear the noise of the girl being struck across the face.

The lights come back on, and the girl is still crying, and her tears mingle with the blood that is now dripping from the side of her mouth

Girl (whimpers): ...father....

Hitler is watching The Apprentice

Hitler: I like Alan Sugar
Girl: But he is from Essex

Hitler strikes his daughter across the face

Hitler: DON'T (strike) YOU (strike) EVER (strike) SAY (strike) THAT (strike) AGAIN (strike)

Girl: I love Christmas. I wonder what santa left me

The girl enters the living room. Hitler is naked on the floor, dead

Girl: This is the best christmas ever

Mrs Hitler strikes her daughter across the face

The girl stands alone in the cellar. Hitler is nowhere to be seen, but her eyes still dart from side to side, and she occasionally spins around to look behind her.

Her arm begins to slowly rise. She tries to hold it down with the other arm, but it is impossible. The rising arm breaks free and she strikes herself hard acros the face.

As she sinks to the floor, red faced and weeping, Hitler's laugh fills the room.