SUPER ALAN TURING VS SPACE HITLER

EPISODE 2: HYPOTHESIS OF TERROR

INT. SMOKY BOARDROOM, NAZI MOON BASE. SPACE HITLER IS STANDING IN FRONT OF A GROUP OF SENIOR NAZIS HITLER: Good evening my friends. With this device, I shall change the course of the war! HITLER WHIPS A CLOTH OFF A TROLLEY IN FRONT OF HIM, REVEALING A CURIOUS DEVICE MADE OF HOSES AND NOZZLES HIMMLER (squinting at brass plaque on the machine): The FELLATE-O-MATIC? HITLER: I - it's - that's a side project. Stay - stay here. HITLER WHEELS OFF THE TROLLEY AND RETURNS WITH ANOTHER HITLER: Behold! The Temporal Displacement Unit! HIMMLER: Gasp! GOERING: Amazing! Does it generate pies? HITLER: Shut up, Goering. With this machine I will travel back in time and kill Alan Turing before the war has even begun! HITLER PULLS A LEVER AND VANISHES. GOERING: Just so I'm clear on this: has he gone to get pies? HIMMLER: Shut up, Goering. FX. HITLER PLUNGES THROUGH SOME SORT OF WOBBLY VORTEX HITLER: Waaaarrrrrrrrrgggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! INT. ACADEMIC STUDY. KING'S COLLEGE, CAMBRIDGE, BEFORE THE WAR. TURING IS ARGUING WITH PROFESSOR STAID. STAID: God damn you Turing, I can't afford a maverick like you in this department. TURING: Shut up. I get results, and you know it. STAID: You'll take back what you said about the Hilbert Program, or so help me you'll be out of here faster than a collapsing non-Euclidean manifold. TURING: The Hell I will! TURING STORMS OUT EXT. KING'S COLLEGE QUAD. TURING IS STRIDING ALONG ANGRILY. SUDDENLY, HITLER BURSTS OUT FROM BEHIND A DOOR. HE IS BEDRAGGLED, WAVING A LUGER AROUND ERRATICALLY, AND SLIGHTLY ON FIRE HITLER: We meet again, Turing! Except not from your point of view, because of the time travel. Wait a minute, I'll do that again. HITLER GOES BACK BEHIND THE DOOR AND BURSTS OUT AGAIN HITLER: We will meet in the future, Turing! Except not, because I'm about to kill you with this gun! Hang on. HITLER GOES BACK BEHIND THE DOOR AND BURSTS OUT AGAIN HITLER: Hello! TURING: Before you kill me you should know - look! A Zeppelin! HITLER LOOKS BEHIND HIM. TURING TAKES THIS OPPORTUNITY TO REPEATEDLY KICK HIM IN THE GROIN. HITLER ASSUMES THE FOETAL POSITION, SOBBING. TURING: Here's a mathematical equation for you, my friend: YOU=JAIL! Hahahahahahahaha! LARGE-BREASTED WOMAN: Hahahahahahaha! Let's have sex, Alan Turing! TURING: Hooray!

Next week on Super Alan Turing vs Space Hitler

HITLER: So at last we meet, Mr Turing BENN: I fear there has been a terrible mistake. I'm not Mr Turing at all. HITLER: You don't expect me to fall for that, do you, Mr Turing? Thats the oldest trick in the book. I even used that trick - twice - in my book, Mein Kampf im Raum. BENN: But... HITLER: SILENCE! Guards! Kill this man, and kill him well! BENN: Oh no!

Read Episode 1 here