Adventures in text #1 - Operation New Life

You are in the lounge. >Look You can see smoke. >Look closer You peer through the thick, acrid smoke. You can see your twelve-year-old brother lying on the floor, unconscious and bleeding. You can hear your sister coughing upstairs. >Inventory You are carrying: a German army trench spade, a bloody axe, a to-do list. >Drop list You drop the to-do list. >E You move east through the smoky house. You are in the hall. There is a smashed smoke alarm here. There is a mirror here. >Pick up smoke alarm You pick up the smoke alarm. >Look mirror You look at the mirror. You see nothing unusual. >Examine mirror You look closely at the mirror. You see a reflection. >Examine reflection You see a goth, like in Teh Matrix. >Do a sperm Where would you like to do a sperm? >Do a sperm on mirror You unzip you leather trousers, peel back your pipe sleeve and do a big sperm on the mirror. You hear a thud upstairs. >Run SE You run South East. You are in the park. There is a tree here. >Examine tree You find old porn. >Examine porn You examine old porn and do a sperm. >Bury porn You bury porn. >Bury axe You bury axe. >Bury smoke alarm You bury smoke alarm. >Bury spoon There is no spoon. >Wait You hear sirens. >Run North You run North. You are outside Sophie's house. The porch light is on. >Save You save the game. >Knock on door You knock on the door. After a brief wait Sophie's father answers the door. Sophie's father says "Hello Keanu. You look well." You have a heart attack. You are dead. You scored a possible 45 out of 66 points. Would you like to return to your last saved game (Y/N) >Y You are outside Sophie's house. The porch light is on. >Cut myself You see nothing here to cut yourself with. >S You go south. You are at the park. There is a tree here. >Examine tree You find an old man. >Do a sperm Where would you like to do a sperm. >Do a sperm on old man You do a sperm on the old man. He chuckles. >Kill old man You see nothing here to kill the old man with. >Kill old man with spoon There is no spoon. >Dig up axe Scrabbling with your hands, you dig up the axe. >Kill old man with axe You attack the old man with the axe. He gurgles and continues breathing. He whispers through a mouthful of blood, "Please! Please, don't kill me. I have a Robert Smith wig and a signed copy of Love Cats � they're all yours if you let me live." >Kill old man with axe Using your axe, you kill the old man. >Bury old man You bury the old man. >Cut face with axe Whose face would you like to cut with the axe? >Cut my face with axe You cut your face with the blade of the axe. You look like a demon has scratched you with its sharp bits. >N You go north. You are outside Sophie's house. The porch light is on. >Knock on door You knock on the door. After a brief pause, Sophie's father's face appears at the glass. You hear his voice inside, "Oh my word, there is a bloody man outside. Looks as though he has been attacked by a demon. Being a typical suburban father I lack the courage to answer the door to such a terrifying creature. GO AWAY OR I WILL CALL THE POLICE." >Knock on door You knock on the door again. You hear Sophie's voice, "It's OK, dad, I'll get it. I'm into pasty, geeky, bloody, vampiric kind of guys." Sophie answers the door. >Collapse in hall You collapse in the hall. Sophie screams. Sophie says "Keanu, what happened?" >Forget You lose your memory. >Say "Sweet" You say "Sweet". THE END. Congratulations you scored 65 out of a possible 66 points.