Alan Moore vs Hollywood

Hello! I am Alan Moore. I just wrote From Hell. It is the best book ever written about Jack the Ripper, and London, too
Excellent! Your book is excellent. We will film that. The only thing that needs changing is that we'll make it into a mystery thriller, and not reveal who Jack the Ripper is, and we'll merge the psychic with the fat old policeman, and have him played by Johnny Depp. Also we'll have Heather Graham in it. And we'll film it in Prague, and make no attempt to make it look like we're in London at all. It'll be brilliant.




Hello! I am Alan Moore. I just wrote The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. It is an excellent, light hearted adventure, set in victorian times. Also, the leader of the league is a woman, who uses no super powers at all
Excellent! Your book is excellent. The only thing that needs changing is the story, and also that Alan Quatermain will be played by me, and won't be a washed up old opium addict but in fact really heroic and brilliant, a bit like james bond, but older. Oh, and he will be the leader of the team, and the woman will now be a sex crazed rubbish immoral vampire. Also, we'll add some rubbish american characters in it, like say, I don't know, Tom Sawyer. He can be an FBI agent or something, it doesn't really matter. It will be excellent.




Hello! I am Alan Moore. I just wrote V for Vendetta. It is one of the best books ever written, about fascism and freedom and morality and choice
Excellent! The only thing that needs changing is that instead of Britain becoming a fascist state itself, we'll have them invaded by Nazis. Also, all that stuff about morality and freedom and choice can be replaced by some slow motion fights, or something. It'll be amazing.