|Q. Where does astronaut keep egg?
A. egg cuoboaird
Q: Who started the great fire of London?
A: Ultra Jesus
Q: God walked into bar, and then destroyed it with lightning!
A: Snow joke
|Q. A man walks into?
A. Ouch! I killed him with an iron bar!
Q: What is the capital of England?
A: E!! (NO! I mean Hull)
Q: HULK ANGRY
A: RICK FRIEND
|Q: Who started the Bubonic Plague?
A: Evile Noele Edmendse
Q: What's the time, Mr Wolf?
A: QUESTION INVALID.
Q: What did you get for Christmas?
Q: What did you get your mum for christmas?
A: An enormous fake cock fashioned out of sausagemeat and eggs
|Q: Why did chicken cross road?
A: BBBBBBKKKKKKKKKKKKK - VACKKCK!
Q: Why did the turkey cross the road?
A: Chased by rapist with knife and gun
Q: Why did rapist cross road?
A: Gary Glitter
Q: Why did Gary Glitter cross the road?
A: Michael Jackson
Q: Why did Hitler egg cross road?
|Q: Why did Toxteth eat crow?
A: She live in Birnmiengham!
Q. Who dib it?
A. Why do to me?
Q. Which dog ate the bone?
A. Dog 29.
|Q: Two men walk into a pub
A: Thats not a question
Q: Why did the horse walk into the pub?
A: It was being chased by the queen
Q) Knock knock
A) Who's there?
|Q) When was the RSPCA founded?
Q) What are you doing in here?
A) Sorry, I saw the door was open, so I just popped in to make sure everything was alright.
|Q. What is woman's name?
Q: How many shitehawks does it take to screw in a light-bulb?
A: I'm drunk!
Q) Did you hear about the man with an elephant's cock for a head?
A) I expect not. It was all hushed up by the authorities!
|Q) How many people can live in a garden shed?
A) Up to 19, if they are immigrants.
(joke courtesy of The Evening Standard, March 8th, 2005)
Q) How many cadets does it take to pull a jet engine along the M4?
(joke courtesy of The Basingstoke Courier, April 10th, 2005)
|Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
A: Because it was dead.
Q. What is the best number?
A. Bisto 70
Q. What is the worst number?
A. Bisto 71
|Q. What did Edric shoot bear?
A. With gun!
Q. I'm hungry
A. No you aren't