|Although it may look to the outside world as if goaste is just hastily produced rubbish, and that we've all spent the summer doing nothing except weep in frustration at the clouds, there is in fact a surprising amount of hard work going on behind the scenes. Our team of highly skilled professionals don't just stumble upon our award-winning jokes and our prize-winning artwork does not just appear from thin air.
Sometimes what you don't see is more important than what you do. It is for that reason that, for the first time, we reveal how goaste gets made.
|goaste production diary
Ted Vaaaak retires to his workshop to work on the Ubbs Jokk
Ted Vaaaak is on holiday
9:30am Ted Vaaaak presents the prototype Ubbs Jokk
9:31am Cease and desist order received from the lawyers of Lulu
9:32am McPipehelm attacks Vaaaak with a chair
Ted Vaaaak recovers in hospital
Brainstorming session 2
Ted Vaaaak works on Egg Jokk
Ted Vaaaak on holiday
(Ted Vaaaak's lawyers insist that "holiday" is not a euphemism for "drug-fuelled bender")
Ted Vaaaak presents prototype Egg Jokk
Focus groups test Egg Jokk
Results from focus groups passed to CERN for further analysis.
CERN analysis reveals that Egg Jokk exists outside of time. Egg jokk shelved.
Brainstorming session 3
Vaaaak works on new jokk.
Vaaaak is on holiday
(Ted Vaaaak's lawyers would like to point out that "Holiday" is not a euphemism for "Being locked up her majesty's pleasure for stalking Hedwig from the Harry Potter Books")
Ted Vaaaak presents new prototype.
Crack team of North Korean animators work on producing the final version. There are 56 casualties.
The final product is released on an unsuspecting internet
Audience reaction received: "I'm not clicking on that!"
Ted Vaaaak is never seen again.