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A list of the mistakes made by Adolf Hitler
| 1899 - Tripped over on way to outside toilet, shattering jar of cabbage 1918 - Helped lose Germany the war 1919 - Slight error of perspective on painting of house in field 1923 - Accidentally kiss man 1925 - Melted sides of moustache off with hot iron 1939 - Small error in speech at rally 1939 - Engaged rest of world in war 1940 - Expended great effort on capturing France, instead of destroying it 1943 - Accidentally kissed Goebbels in dark bathroom in bunker, instead of Magda Goebbels 1941 - Left taps running and flooded bathroom 1941 - Put Ian McKellen in concentration camp, inadvertently creating powerful anti-fascist propaganda 1941 - Pushed Eva Braun's face slowly down onto a stove 1943 - Dropped lit match on painting of Eva Braun's big man face 1942 - Accidentally burned jew 1942 - Failed to destroy Magneto 1943 - Accidentally kissed Goebbels in dark bathroom in bunker, instead of Magda Goebbels 1945 - Missed woman's head and shot own head 1945 - Realised he had black hair, not blond 1945 - Tried to shoot wife again, hit dog 1946 - Tripped over in dark bathroom toilet, shattering jar of irreplaceable sperm 1948 - Took wrong direction on journey to hollow earth, ended up at museum containing animal bones that may have come from animals that may have lived in the hollow earth. 4000 pouns wasted 1953 - Let Bellvis Curel escape 1961 - Cut face while kissing mirror 1975 - Let slip to Penelope Wilton that door to bunker isn't really electrified. Wilton escaped 1979 - Tripped over in dark bathroom toilet in bunker, knocking over and destroying rack of precious brazen heads that whisper the secrets of the dead 1980 - Tripped and rolled down five sets of bunker stairs 1988 - Became enraged at not being able to beat built-in Snail Maze game on Master System, smashed console to pieces, suddenly noticed Alex Kidd cartridge in box 1991 - Accidently recorded and then watched all the episodes of Red Dwarf 1992 - Got a Mega Drive for Christmas instead of a Super Nintendo 1994 - Washed pet guinea pig, giving it a heart attack 1995 - Narrowly missed killing Alison Graham with nuclear cannon orb in Rotherham, despite years of planning 1996 - Wrote the words to popular football song Three Lions 1996 - Failed to throttle David Baddiel to death, even though that was the reason for writing Three Lions 1996 - Fired pangranisation gun at David Baddiel, but hit Frank Skinner instead 2001 - Fell down stairs and broke new hip 2003 - Accidentally kissed Goebbels in dark bathroom in bunker, instead of Magda Goebbels, again 2004 - Throttled Magda Goebbels by mistake in dark bathroom 2005 - Forgot the steps to his favourite dance 2006 - Slight error of perspective on painting of house in field 2009 - Emerges from bunker into sunlight. Skin bursts into flames |
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