Welcome to the third and final n3ta gamers quiz. Tremble with apathy by answering 15 silly questions connected (sort-of) to gaming. It's 10 points for a correct answer, a Chinese burn for a wrong answer, and 20 points for a 'smart arse' answer. "Which answers are 'smart arse' answers", you cry? We're not telling... and stop snivelling, for Godssake... Also, alas, question number four requires a computer which can understand the mysterious language of Flash. If, like us, you still live in the primitive world of Dragons and Orics, then you'd probably be better off using the primitive, unFlash version of this here quiz.

1) These quotes are taken from a Christian games publication. But which game are they reviewing? "Sex outside of marriage is shown as positive in the game. (- 6 pts)" "It is also implied that the two characters engage in sexual activity and shows them laying on a bed together before doing so." "...my recommendation is any mature believer only play this game after much prayer and eyes completely closed during the pool scene... " a) Van Helsing b) Gangland c) Prince Of Persia: Sands of Time d) CY Girls

2) Most members of 60's pop groups end up selling timeshare holidays or committing minor sex offences - sometimes they do both. Which of these groups, however, had a band member who went on to write music for computer games?

a) Dave Dee Dozy Beaky Mick and Tich
b) The Swinging Blue Jeans
c) The Moody Blues
d) Gerry And The Pacemakers

3) Which console did Saddam Hussein apparently import to use its technology in missiles and also enable the hierarchy to improve their Bust-A-Move hi-scores?

a) Playstation 2
b) Sega Dreamcast
c) Microsoft Xbox
d) Konix Slipstream

4) For bizarre, unfathomable alien-esque reasons, an extra-terrestrial race called the Vaaark have travelled to Earth and stolen a game screenshot from Official Playstation 2 Magazine. But which screenshot have they stolen? a) Terminator 3: The Redemption b) X-Squad c) The Punisher d) Headhunter: Redemption

5) In which game do you, as Officer Bob, "question" the suspects by shaking a confession out of them? a) Police Quest b) APB c) West Midlands Police Force Simulator (Neo Geo) d) The Force

6) Overrated England goalkeeper David James once put his poor performances down to having late night sessions playing which game? a) Peter Shilton's Handball Maradona b) FIFA '98 c) Wip3out d) Tekken 2

7) Actors unable to get parts in Crimewatch reconstructions or Welsh porn movies often eke out a living by appearing in computer adverts. But which celebrity (removed from the photo) is stood behind "the happy family" - a "family" who only met two minutes before this photo was taken? a) Peter Sutcliffe b) Jack Charlton c) Alan Alda d) William Shatner

8) The best way to come up with names for video games is by placing a heavy object onto the keyboard. Which of the following is the title of an actual game? a) tukmbe b) ernical c) asthill d) hresvelgr

9) Why did Uri Geller sue Nintendo over Pokemon? a) He believed that the Pokemon called Psyduck was sending him evil thoughts via ESP b) He believed that one of the Pokemon characters was based on him c) He believed that Pokemon was based on an trading game concept he'd devised in 1976 called Uri-ka. d) Following a heated argument, Geller was wrestled to the ground by an actor dressed as Pikachu

10) Josef Stalin has decreed that the world's worst plumber, Mario Mario, is now a non-person and removed him from all history books and photographs. Use your skill and judgement (hah!) to try and determine Mario's original positioning in this photo. a) Position 'c' b) Position 'b' c) Position 'd' d) Position 'a'

11) Which Net Yaroze game for the Playstation contained the following translational missive: "Please no, I am very very scary!" a) Gravitation b) Tokui Waza 2 c) Terra Incognita d) Banjo Invaders

12) Here's a script extract from an episode of South Park: Kenny: Hey you guys, what's going on? Stan: Whoa dude! You got herpes on your face too! Cartman: Where is the Nintendo? Kenny's Dad: We don't have a Nintendo. We've got a ____ plugged into the black and white TV. [A rat runs by] Kyle: Oh my god. This is like a Third World country. And here's a quiz question from an episode of the n3ta gamers quiz: Kenny's family own which of these games consoles? a) Atari VCS b) Colecovision c) Pong machine d) Vectrex

13) Which of these TV impressionists 'did' the voice of Michael 'A pint? That's nearly an armful!' Caine in The Italian Job game? a) Phil Cornwell b) Mike Yarwood c) John Sessions d) Paul Whitehouse

14) As Connor Thompson sat up in a Thai hospital bed, waiting for a cheap nose job, he flicked through a number of games magazines with the medical staff. However, a horrific language mix-up meant that instead of simply getting his nose reshaped, the surgeon rebuilt his entire face using facial features from the magazines. Which of the following game characters' facial characteristics have NOT been incorporated into Connors stupid new face? a) Blinx b) Rayman c) James Pond d) Kirby

15) Forget Mario or Sonic, hardcore gamers know there is one franchise that stands head and shoulders above any other: Army Men. But how many Army Men games have been made? a) The same as the number of steps that feature in the title of a novel by John Buchan. b) The same as the number of people who've been in the band 'Earth Wind and Fire'. c) The same as the number of 'Heinz varieties'. d) The same as the number of different chromosomes in a human.