goaste

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Deus Ex: The Movie - the trailer

BIG SWOOPY SHOT ACROSS A GENERIC SKYSCRAPERED CITY SKYLINE

INT. WHITEHOUSE:

PRESIDENT MEAD:

...the greatest threat our country - and the world - has ever faced. We, as a nation, must -

LED NUMERICAL DISPLAY HITS ZERO. WHITEHOUSE EXPLODES.

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The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time - A guide by Rosy Rockets

My mild brain damage may be traced to the fact that I have completed Zelda approximately six times.

Kokiri Forest

Watch in disgust as a Kokiri with a ginger mop humps a rock.

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Distressing Video Game Box-art #1

It is not hard to find bad video game box-art, of course. But we looked, anyway

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Exploding Lips (PC, 2001)

At first you're spellbound by the sight. You blink, but there it is--a huge pair of lips floating about ten feet above the ground. They're bright red, those lips, and they are wearing what you'd have to describe as a cruel smile. And then it starts coming back to you. The Exploding Lips! The invasion from another dimension! The Earth caught unawares, the wholesale destruction as the nations, unprepared for this eerie and deadly invasion, try to fight back against a menace they can hardly understand.

An interview with Peter McConnell (interview)

Like most gamers with taste, we enjoyed playing Grim Fandango. In addition to this, we also enjoyed the excellently jazzy soundtrack. So, a while ago, we emailed the creator of this music, Peter McConnell, to see if heï¿½d answer some questions for Goaste. Astonishingly, he replied and said yes, heï¿½d be glad to answer some questions. So we asked Luke to ask Peter some questions. And not silly ones like ï¿½How are you?ï¿½, or ï¿½Whatï¿½s your favourite type of cigar?ï¿½, but important ones like ï¿½How do you get people to pay you to write music?ï¿½ and ï¿½ï¿½Which hat is best?ï¿½

Read the interview here

Celebrity Reviews

#1: Vincent Vega and Jules Winnfield from ï¿½Pulp Fictionï¿½ review ï¿½Harvest Moon: Itï¿½s a Wonderful Lifeï¿½

New Games Journalism

One day, all game reviews will be poorly photoshopped Calvin and Hobbes cartoons

Final Fantasy X (Playstation 2)

Codemasters present

A gritty kitchen sink drama:

DOLELAND DIZZY

or

IT AIN'T HALF GRIM UP NORTH DOWN THE PIT WITH YOUR FLAT CAP WHEN YOU'RE MONOCHROME. AND AN EGG.