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An interviwew with Toby Vok

Multi-instrumentalist and cat enthusiast Vom Vorton recently discovered this short interview he made with Toby Vok in 1997 in his old school bag, along with a rotten banana, some graph paper and a tape containing a number of never heard before or since Toby Vok songs. He contends that this was the last time Toby Vok spoke in public before his mysterious disappearance in 1997, but of this there is no proof except his word and his astonishingly beautiful stare.

Read the interview, and listen to a song

Love and a .45!

"Wax my anus!" screams Courtney Love, before hurling herself out of the window of the cab, naked. I look back, my eyes all white at the edges like a dog's when it's scared. She's rolling and rolling down the motorway, arms tightly by her sides.

Read the entire article

David McPipehelm's Musical Express

James Blunt - All the Lost Souls

This album breaks no new musical ground - and is all the better for it. No fan-baiting art school self indulgence like Kid A by Radiohead, this follow-up to the remarkable Back to Bedlam is three quarters of an hour of pure conformity. 10/10

Read more of David's reviews

The Diary of Paul Ruskan

25th April, 2005

"Gav" from CrittyRecords emails me.

Hi Paul

I�ve heard some of your music, and think it is just the thing that CrittyRecords needs. How about we meet, and we�ll discuss putting together a recording contract.



A&R CrittyRecords (Subsidiary of AllOneWordIndustries)

I read the email and consider replying. I decide to make myself sound slightly more important and busy than I actually am.


Thank you for your interest in my music. I am glad you enjoyed the aural treats which I slaved over for many an hour, often whilst in severe need of a haircut and coffee.

Sadly, I cannot meet with you at the moment, as I am in Florence, creating musical instruments from various to-hand materials. Did you know you can make a harmonica out of the more sturdy types of pasta? I didn�t!



A&E Department, Florence General Hospital

Read Paul's complete diary

The Darkness - One Way Ticket To Hell And Back (a song by song review)

1: One Way Ticket

Only 30 seconds in and this album has already made me laugh aloud. It reminds me of those terrible Pan Pipes Moods CDs they used to sell in T.J. Hughes. Just as I�m expecting Nigel Tufnel to come along and start going on about stone �enge the album�s shameful intro fades into what sounds like people snorting coke. I can�t say I�m surprised. Ah now we�re back on familiar grounds, ie: predictable guitar riffs with uninspired drumming and bass. On the positive side I was spared Justin�s overzealous falsetto whining for a full 1 minute and 24 seconds. He also admits that he�s talking rubbish and I have to say I agree.

The whole review is here

An interview with Lardpony (interview)

Lardpony are the Derby-based crafters of excellent indie-synthy-pop-type-songs. Are they on the verge of something huge? Like an angry, yet geometrically unconventional, seal?

We sent The Robot Luke Elliott to track down the band's leader, Tom Morton, and find out.

Read answers and listen to music and then read some more answers

An interview with Peter McConnell (interview)

Like most gamers with taste, we enjoyed playing Grim Fandango. In addition to this, we also enjoyed the excellently jazzy soundtrack. So, a while ago, we emailed the creator of this music, Peter McConnell, to see if he�d answer some questions for Goaste. Astonishingly, he replied and said yes, he�d be glad to answer some questions. So we asked Luke to ask Peter some questions. And not silly ones like �How are you?�, or �What�s your favourite type of cigar?�, but important ones like �How do you get people to pay you to write music?� and ��Which hat is best?�

Read the interview here

Great Hip-Hop lyrics of our time #1 - Crow's Theme by DJ Crow

Yo I'm the blackest crow of all
Got feathers on my ass and on my shawl
When all the seagulls come downtown
I beat their white-ass feathers down

I got bitch-crows all around
They lay my eggs onto the ground
These then hatch into more black crows
Who then crack onto more crow ho's

My feathers glinting in the sun
I can't help thinking s'like I've won
Then from behind I'm shot down low
By the Notorious C.R.O

Read more

Excellent music videos #1: There There by Radiohead (article)

This has to be the best video ever made by a pop band ever!

Basically: Thom Yorke, looking as mutaated/gorgeous as ever, wanders around this eeeeevil creepy wood, and it's all done in stop-motion animation (if you've ever seen the horribly dark/upsetting animation The Secret Adventures Of Tom Thumb then you'll know what I mean). He happens across some mice smoking pipes, a cat wedding, and then, in a clearing, finds a big coat hanging in the air, glowing with ethereal power. So. He puts it on. Then he notices a tree with a hollow high up in it. And on the tree, eyes closed...CROWS!


Keane and Eggs, by Piter Von Egghelm

Rock-out merchants Keane arrived on the grindcore scene very recently, but already they've had unprecedented success - in March 2004 they were playing in Hull to an audience of nine people - some of whom had physical deformities. Flash forward to November, and they have a fanbase of over 10 billion people - all of whom are completely able-bodied. "We just can't stand physical deformity" laughs big-faced singer Tom Chaplin.

Britpop - A retrospective, by Matt Dootson

'Britpop' (Brit Pop) was a popular form of guitar-based music which reached its zenith in the mid 1990's. We are still feeling its hangover today, with more bands than ever picking up electrical guitars, and employing a string section to give their mediocre compositions more 'emotional impact'.

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